He gets me. He just, gets me.
When I met Michael, I knew that there was just something different about him. He wasn't like most guys I had been around.
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I grew up in a small town in Eastern Missouri. We never had very much, but my sister and I never really seemed to notice.
Dad worked construction and was gone for long periods of time, and mom worked at a little restaurant that we got to go see her at every day. She said the manager didn't mind because it was nice having younger people around.
Mom worked the day shift and, except for lunch time, there were typically only old people there. I think having my sister and I at a booth made the place feel a little more alive.
There were days though, that my sister couldn't go.
Amanda was three years older than I was, and because of that she got to go spend time at her friends' houses whenever someone invited her to.
Mom had said that it was because she knew that Amanda wouldn't get in trouble or act like a little kid, and that I would get to someday.
I didn't really mind going to the restaurant without her at first. Mom always gave me paper to draw on and sometimes I'd bring a doll or two.
The manager would always bring me a dessert from the case if I wanted to. He'd sit with me while I ate it and ask what sort of things I thought he should put on the menu for tomorrow's specials. I'd guess about things that I thought grown ups would like, but I think more than anything he was humoring me.
Mom would check on me occasionally, but mostly she just kept to her section and let me mind my own business.
I met Michael at the restaurant.
The day we met, he was there with his parents. It was a Sunday. The church crowd was filing in for the lunch time rush. I don't know how long he had been there before I noticed that he kept staring at me, but when I caught him doing it, he smiled and looked embarrassed.
He had a really nice smile.
He didn't talk to me the first time I saw him at the restaurant, but I sure started to notice him there a lot more after that first day.
One day, he eventually worked up the courage to talk to me. He had excused himself from his parents' table to go to the bathroom, but he took a detour by me. I had been drawing a picture of some girls from a show I had seen that morning, and he told me how good of an artist I was. He said that he liked to draw a lot too, though he mostly drew animals.
He asked me how come I got to come to a restaurant by myself since I wasn't old enough to be out on my own. I think a part of him was jealous. I didn't have to sneak away from my parents or pretend to go to the bathroom to do my own thing.
I told him how my mom worked there, and how on the days that my sister was out with friends I got to spend the day keeping myself entertained. He thought that was cool.
He was the first boy to ever make me feel special.
We didn't talk long that first day because he was supposed to be going to the bathroom, but the more I started to see him there, the more I started to learn about him.
The manager would sometimes ask me about him. I always got the feeling that he didn't like Michael. He had teased me so many times before about how kissing boys would give you cavities, I think it was hard for him to see me getting attention from someone. He was always telling mom that my sister and I were going to grow up before she knew it, part of me felt like he grew so attached to us that he was worried about the same thing.
One day Michael came to the restaurant by himself. It was strange to see him without his parents, but he told me that they had given him money to go eat on the strict orders that he walk to the restaurant, have his meal, and then walk straight home.
That was the first day I ever kissed a boy.
I asked him if he wanted to sit with me, but he said that he thought the manager would make him move tables if he did. We laughed about how old people always thought that young people were always just trying to get away with stuff, but regardless he sat by himself two booths away from where I had been sitting.
He must have made five trips to the bathroom before his meal had even come. Each time he would give me a note with questions on it, and then take my response on his way back to his seat.
"What do you like to do for fun?"
"Don't you ever get bored sitting here all day?"
"Do you like me?"
"Do you know how pretty you are?"
I have to admit, I really loved the way he made me feel.
Eventually, he worked up the courage and asked me if I would meet him out in the front of the restaurant. He said he wanted to give me something.
I had an idea what he wanted. I watched enough shows back then to know that when a boy and a girl like each other, they flirt for so long, and then they kiss. I just - hadn't ever liked a boy enough to think about it actually happening.
But with Michael, he stood out.
He finished his meal, paid his ticket with the 20 dollar bill his mother had given him, and left the restaurant. I saw him walk through the front door and off down the sidewalk, but I knew that he would be waiting just around the corner.
My mom was busy with her tables so I waited for her manager to run to the back for a second, and I was off.
I slunk out of my booth and made my way towards the front door. I remember feeling my heartbeat in my ears. This was something I had never done before. I knew I'd get grounded if mom found out that I had gone outside, but I figured she was busy enough and I was good enough that she'd never have to find out.
Besides, what's a short grounding compared to your first kiss?
He was there waiting for me just around the corner. The parking lot was as full as usual for a lunch time rush, but it felt like he and I were the only people in the whole world. He smiled when he saw that I had made it. I smiled back.
We laughed, and he told me how excited he was that I had been willing to meet him outside. I told him how quickly I needed to go back inside. I knew my mom would give me a few minutes once she saw that I was gone, figuring I was in the bathroom - but I did really need to keep things short.
I was nervous but it was that sort of electric nervousness that makes you want to run towards the thing you're sort of scared of. I started to explain to him how I had never really spent much time talking to boys, and that's when he kissed me.
The world stopped. My mind was filled with a rush of thoughts and feelings, most of all how I couldn't believe that I was being kissed. Me! I was nearly positive that Amanda hadn't been kissed yet. Sure, she got to go out with friends but had she been kissed? No.
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When I woke up, I was confused.
I could tell I was in the back of a van, but I wasn't sure whose van it was or how I got there.
As my eyes started to un-blur I realized that Michael was driving. I hadn't ever really thought about him being old enough to drive. I knew he was grown up, but since he had always come in with his parents I figured he just didn't have a car or something.
I tried to ask him what was going on, and where we were going, but my throat hurt too bad to talk. I was scared. Not scared like I had been earlier, where I thought something fun was about to happen. I was scared the way you get when something's going on that you can't stop. I wanted to know what was happening and I couldn't even get the words to come out of my mouth.
Michael must have heard me wheezing and straining to talk to him. He turned back to look at me and then faced the road again.
He told me how he was so excited to take me home. He said that his parents hadn't wanted him to come get me from the restaurant, but he had made them see how he was right. He told me that his parents would never keep him away from me again.
I tried to get up. I wanted to go sit up in the front seat with him so he could tell me what he meant. I wanted to get off of my side because my arm was falling asleep but - but I couldn't because my hands and feet were all tied up.
He kept talking while I squirmed.
To this day, I don't remember much of what he said on that trip. I know he told me that I'd never see my mother or sister again and that it didn't have to be a bad thing. He told me he'd take care of me and keep me safe from anyone that ever tried to hurt me. He told me that I was his.
Forever.
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I think back on that day so often. I wonder what would have happened if I hadn't gone outside or if I had managed to make it back to my mom before he grabbed me.
But I was a dumb kid, and made a big mistake. I don't get to go back.
I'm his now. He gets me. He just, gets me.
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